Falling in love
By Joshua Bagby
Do we fall in love by chance and free will, or is it meant to be?
How much would it change your perception of love if you learned that our souls plan relationship pairings in advance before birth?
Think about that. If you're not partnered, how much angst is contained in fantasies about being alone forevermore? How different would it be to spend your alone time before a relationship or between relationships to do something better with your time than worry about a lonely future?
How would you feel to learn that the people you think are "luckier" than you in love are simply living out a different life plan? How would it be to know that whatever bad fate you think you are suffering is temporary, just part of a plan conceived for your soul education? What might it be like to realize that the love of your life exists in another world, even if you do not consciously perceive it, and that you would reunite?
To my way of thinking, much of today's romantic and erotic culture emphasizes the wrong things. (My frame of reference is for the mainstream American culture.) We are taught to look at bodies more than souls. We are taught to worship materialism, which includes marrying as high up on the economic ladder as possible. While, of course, quite a few people have disavowed this cultural disposition, it still seems to be the way of the majority.
Many people still think we have only one life to live, and within that time we need to find the perfect mate or suffer the consequences. This amps up the pressure on people. So wouldn't it be a big relief to discover that "arranged marriages" could exist for everyone? That our higher selves could choose before incarnating what kind of people and experiences we will encounter? That we could also choose what lessons we want to learn? This could mean learning loneliness, heartbreak, betrayal, or on the positive side of things, cooperation, partnership, and serving others.
A popular conception (and possible misconception) is that a soulmate is someone who perfectly matches you and your personality traits. That magical person fully gets and accepts you just as you are. Yet in practice, a soulmate may be more accurately regarded as a perfect teacher. Some soulmates may clash with one another. Their preconceived role might be to say and do things that might lead to epiphanies and character development.
Eventually, the SoulPhone™ could reveal that Society has been short-sighted about love and sex. So many books, movies, TV shows, and Internet presentations portray love and sex to be primarily a struggle, an endurance test, and a few moments of ecstasy within a flood of heartbreak. It would change things dramatically to realize that we aren't ever alone. We are deeply loved, even when it is (temporarily) from another dimension.
While this is all speculation, its possibilities are indicated in past-life regressions, readings with mediums, channeling, and near-death experiences. Let's consider some possibilities about how the perception of love might change with the advent of a working, ubiquitous SoulPhone that could confirm the anecdotal evidence:
- We may learn that we have extended families, which could include other mates/lovers we currently don't consciously realize we have.
- We could receive more accurate information about the mates we currently have, pointing us to solutions to any current problems. Guides or post-material
advisors could share the bigger picture with us.
- We may learn about trans-dimensional relationships and form entirely new paradigms about the nature of love. While most people today probably cannot
envision having satisfying relationships with people they cannot physically sense (except through a SoulPhone), the introduction of that possibility
could open up vast new avenues for fulfillment when it is fully explored.
- We could learn to live with far less angst about our romantic situation, whatever it may be. We may more easily accept the hardships we endure, perceiving
them as lessons that challenge us more than bad luck that plagues us.
Our whole cultural approach to love and sex could shift with this new dynamic in play. We may share more stories about solutions and not dwell so much
on the pain and suffering that dominate modern media fare.
DOWN THE LINE
The impact of the SoulPhone after a few years of assimilation into society could level the playing field on love. Right now we compete for mates largely based on the assumption that we get just one chance or lifetime to get it right. Mating competition makes us feel worthy or unworthy, like winners or losers. Mates are often made on superficial ranking factors like wealth or physical beauty, which in turn sometimes generates great hostilities down the line.
When people realize that our earthly behaviors can be witnessed, and that we could be accountable for those behaviors, it might become much less tempting to abuse others. We may come to appreciate the futility of cheating, stealing, betraying, degrading, and harming others while learning the benefits of kindness and cooperation.
As some sources suggest, we may learn that in post-material worlds, monogamy is not the norm. Rather than the guiding principle of one true love for eternity, it's more like we are all of one source. Jealousy and possessiveness do not have the power that they do in the flesh world. Without the kind of lack and limitation known here, and with love and sex being more spiritually focused, intimacy with anyone may be normal to that environment.
Thought leaders in entertainment, social media, and even commerce could saturate a future culture with new insights and paradigms about love. This is where social change could gain much momentum. (Thought leadership that plays to the masses is also why stereotypes about love and sex stay stuck where they are today.)
Some people are emotionally crippled today stemming from early romantic disasters that featured abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and similar injury. For me personally, healing becomes much easier when I think that I am in Earth School and that those painful experiences were intended to teach me something. As such, I always ask myself if what happened had been designed as a lesson, what did I learn? What is the gift? (Surprisingly, great gifts often reveal themselves from what began as a disaster.)
With the SoulPhone giving us personal contact with loved ones and luminaries, it could well shift the focus of relationships into more of a cosmic family feeling than mate competition and ego fulfillment. It could re-define relationship priorities and might also nudge society into healing the loneliness epidemic.
Of course, a major use for the SoulPhone would be helping people reunite with loved ones who've left the physical planet. In a generation or two, this ability could dramatically change the mechanics of grief. Someone's departure, especially unexpectedly, will probably always hurt to some degree, but being able to communicate with them will ease the pain. "Till death do you part" may be a premature paradigm.
The material in this blog is the visionary speculation of Joshua Bagby. It has not been subjected to the rigors of scientific inquiry. The reader should not assume that the views expressed here are the official positions of the SoulPhone Foundation. Joshua Bagby is a visionary writer currently residing in Oregon. He applies afterlife research to fiction and nonfiction to envision a better life for all humanity.
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